Love the ones you love

Why do we love the ones we love? If you had asked me when I was a child I would have had a completely different answer than today. When I was a child love was how I felt when my mom played tea party with me and I realized she never got tired of being the daddy. When I grew up I realized that even though my mom was not perfect, her love for me was. She loved me no matter what. Bad choices, no choices, stupid choices, she was always there. Now she is gone and sometimes I have grown-up problems that I would like to tell her about. I realize that life changes in an instant so we should grab the ones we love and hold on tight cause it could all change tomorrow. Love is loving someone no matter how far away they are. I realize today what love really is to me. Love is what awakens you in the middle of the night. Love is losing your mind, body and soul to another person. Love is what takes your breath away when that person says " I Love You" and means it. Love is putting the other person before your own needs. It is also being able to receive love. That is the part I have always had trouble with. I never feel worthy and I have no idea why. I have no problem sacrificing for someone else. Love can be the best and the worst feeling in the world. the tough part about it is when I have to make a choice that is going to hurt someone I hate it. I don't believe that I have been made to be that kind of person. So, many times I will not allow my own needs to be met because of my strong sense of right and wrong. I guess that too is a part of loving someone and putting their feelings before your own. Selfless love is the hardest when you give up something for someone else. Like we do for our children. We put our lives on hold for what we think will be in their best interests. We put off our own lives while we raise them and take care of them and we do this because we love them so much. I love someone completely. I can't explain it, but I do. It is the worst and the best feeling all at the same time. Completely crazy for him. Completely. There is no doubt about it. I am so blessed to be able to love someone like this in my lifetime. He loves me. He loves me. Its complicated but so easy too. That is love. Comes over you like a sneaker wave when your not looking, pulls you under and hold you there for a lifetime. No matter how far. I love him like no other ever could or will. It's not anything I can explain it just is. I will love him forever. He makes me feel totally complete. He doesn't even have to be next to me. But I want him to be. I have never felt this way about any person. It is different from the love I feel for my children. I don't want to waste any time. Love has many levels Parent and child, friend and lover. But, I believe love is the strongest bond and emotion we as humans can ever have. So we should't waste time. Love who you love just do it cause time moves on. I just want to say thank you to the man who has loved me all this time. I am not deserving of your love most of the time, but I am thankful for it. Thank you for waking me up, taking the time to show me that I am loveable despite all my inequities. Thank you for your gift. From my little sunny spot....may you all find love, peace and comfort in perfect imperfect love...